


Why Trains Aren't Built to Sustain Life in Space.

by RooftopRush



Series: Miraculous Crack [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Episode Riff, Episode: s03 Startrain, F/M, Gen, Humor, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 06:38:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20670947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RooftopRush/pseuds/RooftopRush
Summary: "Finally, after endless hours of insomnia from fighting magic terrorists, I can take a break!" Marinette thought, as she left Master Fu's humble home."Haha you thought? Here's a teleportation device to transport you back to Paris whenever there's an akuma attack. It's a modified ankle monitor from when I escaped prison." He informed, and immediately put it on her. Marinette was terrified.---------------------Crack/Parody of Episode 20, s3 of Miraculous Ladybug, StarTrain. Spoilers beware.





	Why Trains Aren't Built to Sustain Life in Space.

"Finally, after endless hours of insomnia from fighting magic terrorists, I can take a break!" Marinette thought, as she left Master Fu's humble home. 

"Haha you thought? Here's a teleportation device to transport you back to Paris whenever there's an akuma attack. It's a modified ankle monitor from when I escaped prison." He informed, and immediately put it on her. Marinette was terrified.

* * *

Meanwhile, Adrien gleefully runs towards<strike> the country border line</strike> the train station <strike>to freedom,</strike> hoping to spend time with his friends!

"Since we just finished off an akuma yesterday, today we shouldn't have any!"

Meanwhile, in a dark tower, emo butterfly Repunzel cackles. "Mwuahaha!! Bitch, you thought." #Grindreel

* * *

"Oh my god, is that ADRIEN?" Marinette exclaims, pointing and salivating in the boys direction like she's never seen him before in her fucking life. 

Robustus, the walking talking flying Ai, proceeds to use his FBI Monitoring software to answer Marinettes question. "Affirmative. It is Adrien Agreste. Born July 23rd. Citizenship number 577-65-3125, Trust Fund account number 8, 7..." The robot continues on. Marinette would've wrote it all down for later fanatical devotion, but she already has these numbers memorized by heart.

"There is a 0.0 billion% chance that his father would allow him to come." Max states.

"Yeah no shit." Screamed Adrien, and also the audience. 

* * *

Officer Raincomprix finally proceeds to drop Sabrina off at the train for another day of 1% Upper Class Slave Training, and tells her how proud he is that she's following in his footsteps. 

After giving Chloe her obligational train foot massage and spongebath, she backs out of the train car, head bowed and walking backwards, tail between her legs, like the dog she is. In her stupid little heart, she hopes one day, Master will give Sabrina a sock. Then, Sabrina will be free. 

* * *

In the main car where all the working class students sit, Adrien sullies himself among the poor. Marinette sits a few rows back, and stares at him. She is physically incapable of looking away.

"Ahh," Marinette yawns, exhausted from last nights work. The class immediately erupts in laughter, because yawns are just fucking hilarious for some reason. 

Marinette immediately falls asleep to process the mortification of yawning in public, so Alya decides to give her some more when she wakes up, and has Adrien swap sweats with her.

Knowing his scent by heart, Marinette immediately cuddles closer to him in her sleep, and falls on his shoulder. He's basically indistinguishable from the Adrien Agreste body pillow she sleeps with at home. It's fucking adorable and everyone enjoys it. 

Lila looks over her shoulder at them, and smiles. _"Time to be a big annoying fuckin' bitch,_" She thinks, and gets up to ruin everything. 

Alya gets up and bodyblocks her before she can shake Marinette awake. "Not so fast hoe."

Lila snarls at her, and then fake smiles. "Uh, I was just going to ask if Marinette if she had any dumb bitch juice!"

"Marinette doesn't drink dumb bitch juice!" Says Alya. 

"Oh oh! I have some dumb bitch juice!" Sabrina always carries around extras for Chloe. 

* * *

The Akuma boarding the train loses it's wifi reception and proceeds to go feral on the train, causing it to become magic, clip through it's tunnel, and blast off into the Earths atmosphere for some Mrs.Frizzle Magic Schoolbus highjinks. Everyone is terrified except for Kim, who believes the Earth is still flat, and fears nothing. 

Nathalie wakes from her chair coma with a start. "Sir, Adrien's on a train in space and there's nothing we can do."

"Fuk!" Gabriel slams his fist on the table. "Well, he's dead to me. Nathalie, make me a new sentimonster son at once!"

"RIght away Mr.Agreste."

The End. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was born out of pure boredom and stupidity. Let me know if you like this. If it gets enough comments I'll make it into a series. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. <3


End file.
